Wednesday, December 08, 2004

once in a golden hour
i cast to earth a seed.
up there came a flower,
the people said, a weed.
to and fro they went,
thro' my garden bower,
and muttering discontent
they cursed me and my flower.
in a golden hour
i sat down to think.
what gives life meaning,
what makes my heart sink.
why do people work so hard,
when no one understands.
all the pain they go through.
no one comprehends.
when people forget my existence,
why do i still care.
why do i still love them,
when they're never there.
-
just the sight of the bright smile was enough to keep me grinning for the rest of the day.
i shouldn't even have indulged in this hopeless, wishful dream. thinking of it alone was a painful mistake. i don't dare to wish for anything anymore, because all my failed dreams only make me feel emptier.. and emptier.
i will be losing my reason to live.
but i have to let go. soon.




Wednesday, December 01, 2004

aww taufiq's so farnie! he deserves what he got. =)
all da way man, i support you.
i still love jessie most though. her voice is absolutely powderful. captivating. delicious.
i only get something remotely similar to that superb voice after drinking gallons of piping hot honeywater+calamansijuice when having a sore throat.
and sadly, i don't often get sexy sore throats -sob
tts okay though, i'm a healthy girl (:
-
thanks toothfairy! prayer really helped.
haha
n u're so nice! -grin
ham. i'm so sorry i cant bring you. i'm such a bad girl. i'll see if i can bring back creations for you k?
sorry! =/ pls forgive me ok?




Tuesday, November 30, 2004

i need to bite something hard.
i'm so frustrated. with my parents. my brother.. everything.
damn. screwed day. my brother flew off to some last minute chalet without telling my dad
and he thinks my dad can't chide him cos he's 18 already.
like wth? i tell you, his maturity couldn't even be compared to that of a kid half his age.
and my mom was soo smart, she approved of his move, saying we shouldn't harbour all these ill feelings of frustration, anger, what the hell, making my dad get hotter.. and hotter...
so they were bad mooding the whole day.
and i here, the smaller lousier one, had to get broiled by their freaking steam. companionless.
why couldn't i be the older one?
so tiresome.
fork lah. argh.




Monday, November 29, 2004

i've been having problems with sleeping.
just last night, at two fifteen in the freaking morning i sprang up wide n alert. had too exhaust myself with sit ups crunches n jumping around muffling my yells before my unhyperacivated body consented to get back on the bed without feeling an urge to scream.
even then, i was rolling about for eons before i finally dozed off whereupon the stupid sun rose and i had to wake up again.
this is really bad.
sleeping less makes you lose your growth hormones, and when there is a deficiency of growth hormones i cannot grow, which means i have to hydrolyze my proteins to grow, then i'll suffer from starvation, then i'll...
but never mind if you all treasure me well enough, i don't mind dying younger. =D *awww...*
on a more serious note. i think i have to take pills soon.
induced sleep. its better than nothing. i have to have my sleep.
omg. this is rubbish.




Tuesday, November 23, 2004

o sootfairy, d'amour. when the time is ripe, i will
1. figure out who u are.
2. be nice back to you =)
3. GET MY MONEY BACK.
*
and yarh. tammy. you're so dead.
-
gonna be really busy these holidays. section chalet + jrs camp almost overlaps each other, then there's mrs chua's bands' christmas party, then there's church camp band camp this camp that camp... .......*rubs eyes.
i feel faint.
looks ard. wokay, no one here to save me now. better save the seizure for later.
-
made another set of spaghetti for my parents last last night.
and then went to sleep, cos it was late le. then, without my super watchful eyes and careful guidance she microwaved the sauce. omg! i totally freaked out when i found out last morning.
after the traumatic rescue operation the last time she attempted to microwave food in front of me, apparently she doesn't see what are the long term effects that can be caused by scaring me this way repeatedly. many many times.
so when i saw a bottle of warmed up brands essence of chicken on my placemat. i put on gloves, carried it to her room and very politely asked. "microwave one is it?"
and she burst out laughing.
hoW COULD she. -steam puffs out of ears.
-
i try to think that life's not as difficult as it annoyingly seems to be.
that having many things on hand doesn't mean i don't have time for myself.
that my family is a closely tied, happy one.
distressingly, reality isn't that nice to us people.
i resent talking about lousy problems to people. putting them into words, things only get more confusing. complex? perhaps.
i guess i pay less attention to some aspects and magnify others, so the priorities become less distinct. even undefined.
what am i talking about? psh. stop gawking at me. i don't know.
most of all, its embarrassing. i don't like troubling them. plus all the funny advices..=/
i hope i haven't sent across the wrong message. listening ear service is still available to you guys.
clapclapclap. yay.




Monday, November 22, 2004

toothfairy dearest. how could you be so cruel as to torment my poor sore soul.
your words have stabbed through the depths of my already broken heart and swivelled round and about till there is nothing left but a dark, endless abyss. (cross reference happy tree friends)
now, i humbly ask you to refrain from harbouring suspicions. for without a doubt, i have been a saint all my life.
-
oii tell me who u r lah. *bambi eyes.
clue me. come on.. everyone knows u're nice. -biiig wink





Sunday, November 21, 2004

aww. toothfairy's so nice!
here's something i always wanted to tell you.
YOU OWE ME $8. all my teeth drop out alr still no money under my pillow.
lol. just kidding. i'm not so aggressive. serious.
so. tell me.
vhat zeed yoo sink? vas id gude or vas it bhaadd? led me nn-ohh dokay?
-
i went for my first church choir prac today! aunty hazel makes me blush.
i was put in sop. and she's been talking to me in a super high pitched voice ever since.
had jrs camp mtg after tt. yingyi has no legs at all. not even stumps.
anw, assistant secretary took minutes. i took 4 full pages of minutes! pro right
then 34 minutes into the 3rd hour sister. kailing so kindly told me tt i didn't have to write so much in detail.
-
i miss my edible friends..
ham, diaper and honeybrownie.
and all the other not so edibles.
*sob

pommie

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